Thursday, November 11, 2021

Nae Web, Nae Quaich!


The beleaguered Quaich 2020, already rescheduled three times, faced another set-back this week when it was revealed that Stephen “Web” Webster would not be able to participate on the agreed upon dates in May 2022 due to mysterious “personal commitments”.  Exhausted USA Team Captain, Brian “Goombay” Farley, polled his team about its willingness to change dates once again, and the entire dramatic episode revealed much about Web’s standing in the Team USA locker room.

Upon being notified of Web’s date conflict, several members of Team USA, led by James “Sheets” Moreland, wasted no time in circulating the names of viable replacements. Former Quaich favorites such as Bret “Fabric” Baier, John “Gumby” Reardon, and Tony “T-Bone” Milo were all considered. Sheets advocated for potential newcomers from his hometown of Shreveport, Louisiana --- men with names like Sweet Pea, Bubba Trump, and Corndog.

It looked grim for Web until support came from the most unlikely of places. Scotland.
“Nae Web, Nae Quaich!” declared Ross “Rosco” MacCallum, creating a rallying cry for the movement to change the dates of next year’s event.

“Of course we were going to accommodate Web,” said Team Scotland Captain Ronald “NSW Ronnie” Denholm. “He has been a big reason for Scotland’s success in the last two Quaich matches.”

“Web is very popular with the Scottish team,” said Douglas “Slicer” Brown. “We all want to play with him in the singles matches.”

In the end, Captain Farley and the rest of Team USA acquiesced. The dates of Quaich 2020 2022 have been changed to April 25 – 30, 2022.

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