Tony “Hef” Denson, the newly appointed captain of Team Scotland, wasted no time in assembling his leadership team in advance of Quaich 2024. Wearing only a scarlet kimono-style silk bathrobe during a live-streamed press conference from his bedroom in Bonita Springs, Florida, Hef announced that his Vice Captains in 2024 will be Natasha Novoselova and Paloma Sunil. The stunning beauties, who appeared alongside Hef, have little golf experience. Novoselova, an aspiring model and club hostess, is best known as a one-time back-up singer for the underground Russian band Søika. And Sunil’s resume features a secondary role in the Bollywood film “Jism 3”.
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| Hef and Vice Captains |
When asked for his perspective on his predecessor’s term as captain, Hef, who is the first non-Scot to lead Team Scotland, was characteristically blunt. “Dear Ronnie’s efforts at Rosemary Beach were really quite flaccid,” said Hef. “I plan a reliable, enduring, rigorous captaincy. And we will see a quality response from the guys … again and again.”
When asked about their lack of golf experience, the new Vice Captains delighted the assembled media with sexual double entendres about getting it in the hole, stiff shafts, foursomes, playing the backside and mowed fringe. “Our golf knowledge is secondary,” said Novoselova. “What is most important is that we understand what motivates and inspires men to perform.”
The 11th meeting of the teams from the USA and Scotland is planned for the northwest of England in 2024. Further details will be announced at a later time.
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