Oor Wullie Goes Under the Knife to Save Quaich Career

Allen “Oor Wullie” Wilson has undergone major surgery on his ankle in a bid to participate in the upcoming Quaich matches. A long standing issue with his lateral malleolus tendon

Oor Wullie's Ankle post-surgery

was preventing Wullie from completing his swing, and his form was in freefall over the last year. 

The surgery went well, according to Team Scotland physios. However, Wullie still has to use a buggy to get around the St Andrews links, drawing glares from the locals who eschew any sort of mechanical assistance while playing the ancient game.

Former Scottish fan favorite, Kevin “Riddler” Riddle has been keeping a keen eye on events and is rumoured to be bombarding Captain Ronald “Wee Ronnie” Denholm with text messages, offering to step in for the ailing Oor Wullie. “A fully fit Riddler or Wullie on one foot is a tight call,” Wee Ronnie was overheard saying while tucking into a large curried mutton pie at The Holborn Dining Room in London. “I think we will see how things progress.”

NSW Ronnie's Curried Mutton Pie